Muggles are lovely well meaning people. We love Muggles because they help us and they are kind. That's why we gave them a nice name. We of course we called ourselves Struggles. The reason should be obvious unless you've had a mild stroke or haven't experienced the full fun of recovering. One thing Muggles are not, and have never been in my experience, is a Struggle. They don't know what it's like to actually be a Struggle. Only a Struggle really know what it's like to be a Struggle and to talk in a knowing way to another Struggle. Muggles look at Struggles and pigeon hole them. Can they see?, Can they hear?, Can they walk?, Can they use their hands? Muggles fail to ask questions and pick up on clues. They put the A4 sheet on the bedroom notice board. Can the patient read it? When it goes on the bedside table the patient reads it. When it's put up on the notice board it's ignored. No one asks if the patent can read it there. Remember this is a Struggle recovering from a brain injury. They may not even understand. Some blurry sheet. Why? No idea. The nurse says "you should hold it longer". No one notices that one of the blood pressure meds is also a diuretic. The patient tries to do what he's told but can't achieve much. I wonder why? He only understands months later when his brain has recovered enough for him to understand. Does that hurt? No then no problem with that psysio. Did you ask about pain medication? Did you ask about CBD Oil, which would mask the pain but enable you to know there is one? Did you think whether it would cause pain in 4 or 5 hours? When he says it's loud, does he mean loud in volume? Maybe he means noises distract him, make his brain hear them. Trying to do an exercise and someone speaks and, no good I have to stop. Just like someone hill walking and needing to be in the zone. When he says loud he means he's very sensitive. Maybe so sensitive his own voice is annoying. I'm measured walking a set distance in hospitals when my whole right side is numb. How fast I walk is pretty much constant through a day. Just tiredness slows me down. Then I'm measured again as an outpatient. I'm slower. Nothing is taken account of. How my legs feels different, how my brain varies, how early in the morning quiet and no visual disturbance I'm quite fast. After a consultation and various work and mental affects I'm much slower. Just like last thing at night. To a Muggle I'm just a walking person. To a Struggle it's much more complicated. Muggles have good hands and good joints. There's no reason for then to think about cold hands and stiff joints. So no reason to think about warming hands before exercises or physio on hands. Only a Struggle would know from feeling that he needs to warm up before doings joint stuff. Only a Struggle can feel his tendons and joints being extended and how far to go without lots of pain later. No Struggle is the same. We're all different. When we ask how a Struggle is we mean in detail. Shoulder pain, what does it feel like? Hot, cold, or what? What pain meds are you on? What have you tried, and how did it work? Muggles think in straight lines. How much better he's got, how much better he should get. They are disappointed when progress isn't what they expect. Struggles know it's a hilly climb. Up for while then down a bit. Periods of pain and adventure. Maybe a different leg to walk with. I'm now on number 6. It takes time to learn to walk on a new leg. As a Struggle I see it was progress. One day it'll be my final leg. I'm getting towards that, but not in an obvious straight line. As a Muggle I used to think the whole room was at the same temperature. Now as a Struggle it's different, very different. I sit on the couch, feel cold and put a jersey on. I stand up and feel hot and take it off. I guess this is why the hospital was evenly heated warm. People go out and leave the door open, fresh air, or for me cold air, better put my jersey on.
Can you look at me and tell how I am? Probably not. One minute feeling relativly ok, the next minutre shoulder aching, hand aching, ear hurting, my head in a tumble drier, crying with everything. If you see that but I might only do that in private.